Bad Coelacanth

Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: the Sears tool department (was: End-of-year newspaper filler) From: John D Salt Date: 07 Jan 2005 11:42:05 GMT (James "Kibo" Parry) wrote in news:kibo-0701050551370001@ [Snips]

Wow, a whole new stubborn stain of IC track titles! Yipperino! I see a Bold New Double Album of Innovative Musical Pieces and Unnecessary Capitalization connected by a cod-operine narrative thread, along the lines of Zappa's "Joe's Garage".

Bad Coelacanth -- Interrobang Cartel

Prat 1 -- L'Apres-midi d'un fool

  1. Prelude to the afternoon of a coelacanth
  2. Now I can return my defective ant!
  3. Go past the volvox and the burpo
  4. Slunch appraisal area
  5. Dainty toffee!
  6. Pay her no mind
  7. Welcome to the crotch-kicking department.
  8. You look like a nice gullible person
  9. Go past inflatable wumbles

Part 2 -- Later that Arvo

  1. Ignore the furlax
  2. Stand on one foot in the eepi department
  3. I just came in to return my defective ant
  4. I wonder what's happening over by the volvox.
  5. The price of Swedish glarno
  6. Stock footage of Queen Elizabeth with OINK, OINK noises
  7. A cow explodes
  8. I skipped lunch for this?

This album MUST be recorded. The complete absence of lyrics and music and the lack of time, talent, equipment, motivation, organization and money to create them MUST NOT be permitted to obstacle our success.

I have utilized the management key success methods of SHOUTING WHAT I WANT, saying "utilized" instead of "used", and horribly verbing an innocent noun, so I think I have contributed all I can to the success of the project. If it doesn't happen now, it's all your fault, everyone. You will be hearing from my lawyers.

Oh yeah, and could someone design an album cover? Pretty please with sugar and threats?

All the best,


As can be seen, the shouting seems to have worked. Tim Chuma has provided copious lyrics. The composition and recordings are in progress. Nothing will "obstacle our success."

When this is over, we will all blame you, John.